On Love & Lakeshore

A Chicago Therapist's Perspective on Relationships, Sex, and Emotional Health

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A young man and woman sitting closely on a black leather couch, embracing with eyes closed, in a cozy indoor setting with a plant and a white wall in the background.

Successful Couples and Shared Loneliness

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Single in ChiTown

A person standing indoors in front of a window with green neon lights illuminating the building outside.

A Letter to Chicago men

Relationship Advice for Real Life

  Find Answers to the Questions Keeping You Up at Night

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The Women Who Are Tired of Being Understanding
The Women Who Are Tired of Being Understanding

Why do so many women become experts at understanding everyone but themselves? A Chicago therapist explores emotional labor, relationships, self-abandonment, boundaries, and what happens when women stop carrying everyone else’s emotions and begin listening to their own.

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A Letter to the Modern Midwest Man
A Letter to the Modern Midwest Man

A thoughtful essay about modern Midwest men, emotional intimacy, masculinity, dating, and relationships. Jess Benge examines the complexities of today's men through the lens of a Chicago relationship therapist.

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Why "Date Night" Isn't Working
Why "Date Night" Isn't Working

Why Date Night Isn't Working explores why simply spending more time together often isn't enough to strengthen a relationship. Drawing on relationship science and real-world therapy insights, Jess Benge explains how couples can move beyond routine date nights and create the kind of everyday connection that builds lasting intimacy, emotional safety, and desire.

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Meet Jess!

About the Author

Jess Benge is a Chicago-based Relationship & Sex Therapist who is equal parts writer, researcher, and romanticist.

She spends her days helping people untangle love, sex, betrayal, loneliness, and the beautiful mess of being human.

Love & Lakeshore is where she lets her inner nerd run wild—exploring the questions people ask behind closed doors, but rarely talk about out loud.

More About Jess